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Never stop dreaming.
Recent Dreams 
12th-Dec-2014 03:02 pm - december 11th, 2014
reshiram song. smeagol plague demon? punched hole in chest, bleeding aqua-clear glowy slime. orange stuff? LYNNE SINGING. "always be there, we love him," etc.
23rd-Nov-2014 02:58 pm - November 22nd, 2014
first dream. something where mister spender was leading our old elementary class? trying to secretly tell me something, when sitting at a table. talking in code really. I think he said "well, what if we really loved you," meaning the paranormal society/ activity club as a whole, to preclude some revelation. I remember being affectionately moved by that statement.
took us to some white cathedral? cried from the sheer beauty of it. however off to the far right it became disturbing and greyish. floor was super slidey like ice. someone was doing iceballet on it.
somehow "jumped" through a portal to talk to the solar guardians? someone could see me as a "shadow" as I met devonal, hugged him joyously. we began to speak and xorane walked over, his wings were clearly visible.
last dream. grandpa driving fast down hill, hit telephone pole, knocked them all over like dominos. entire street was staring in shock. it had a feeling of apocalyptic consequence and I numbed out on the spot really
something in a museum, crossed with the church basement? temporarily corvo attano, trying to find a "sacred heart medal" and steal it? I had some sort of power I needed to use specifically for that and that alone.
blase had an ipad come in the mail? turned on in the package, I had to take it out to mute it. then sitting in the church hall place I was watching some movie on it, forget what. someone else was critiquing it I think.
then in room, power still out, where my desk should be there was instead a ton of dust and guitars. apparently this had been chris's room? I was trying to clean it out.
that whole dream had the 'hollow summer trip' vibe, not cool.
22nd-Nov-2014 02:50 pm - november 21st 2014
dupont hill, super tall autumn trees. gorgeous. pink house for sale on hill.
before that, airport in church? looking for tickets in laptop bag. lots of kids. weird 'dream' plane setup as always. tired.
19th-Nov-2014 02:13 pm - november 18th, 2014
going to some sort of meeting/party with the obamas? I couldn't get myself to look right-- too fat, shirt wrong, hair flat, etc. mchelle kept trying to get something off my chin. wearing plaid shirt, red gas mask, I wanted to wear pinstripe pants. went in there, everyone talking about ebola. I was flipping through books on the shelf out of curiosity.
plane called "money" that obama was talking about. tried to control everything you do?
book about bone comics in the bathroom, how he drew fone bone.
later on, something with pink-haired mohawk guy and his really short girlfriend. talking about something w/ pikachu and mew. stick dragon? couldn't spell. something with fighting the hatters.
the "bad guy" learning form these mlp ponies and saying "I forgive you." the villain learning how to love and STILL being a villain, interesting.
16th-Nov-2014 02:50 pm - november 15th, 2014
"did you mean my life" google search thing on top of building. had to get up there for some reason.
flying, scared some dude because I grew huge arm wings to do so. attacked me?
reached top floor. something with skulls and monsters, "imagination of god," the ability to love those frightening things showed that there was beauty within them as well? I remember the skull smiled and teared up at this
15th-Nov-2014 02:51 pm - november 14th, 2014
markus spy, peering out windows like dishonored. paranoid dialogue, almost psychotic. ryman, saying he felt most comfortable as a "thriller/ tiller/ killer" etc. said his dad gave him a wood chipper for his birthday, "he understood." I remember dissociating and smiling flatly at this, "and you thought this boy would love you" or something. the whole scene felt very hollow.
me lost driving, in pajamas, up road to right in dreams (towards shopping centers on hill). lost car somehow? had to walk back to house, barefoot and cold. stole shoes? also meat? got home, people didn't care I had been lost, said I had "gotten the wrong meat" and mom actually shoved past me to leave
14th-Nov-2014 02:51 pm - november 13th, 2014
woman with smashed pumpkins in office. hacker?
then 'notes' about vez. when too emotionally distraught, he would scream in echolocation so no one but athoran would know. but secretly mezzo could hear that too, said it had something to do with his softer heart.
'you would stand against me with a thousand rebel angels' line, basically "you won't/can't win"
'thousands of predecessors' leading up to vezerai's single existence, right then and now. he felt the weight and importance of that destiny, did not exclude that spiritual ancestry so to speak
10th-Nov-2014 02:47 pm - fragments from autumn 2014
big the cat? tikal/chaos figure on desk. new darkrai doll, named "aorta."

xenomorph shai-hulud. black, spiky thing. underground, looked like a video game.
infi eye-ball toys, one gold plated. stealing them, they were like $600 otherwise.

(in living room, as corvo. in huge trouble, lethal situation with the overseers. wondering how this happened, "but the outsider loves me." then a pause, angrily "he's a god, not a romantic assistant/accessory?" after that though the outsider put his hand on my shoulder and said "take heart")
church? leaping across fields, on all fours. bounding really. felt amazing.
bill cipher coin on bridge

(davy jones (slugs, boat). he was some sort of hired hand, or apprentice there? looked a LOT younger. we were sitting on the edge of a wall on deck, he chastely kissed me. I asked if that was poisonous, he paused then took out a handkerchief and laughed, wiped my lips and said "only if you swallow it." because slime. I laughed at that too
silver comic, dino book (leviathan), muscle girl, cheese

(house. broken/blowup. chimney split. blessed it, befriended. cz/gun on porch. woods by diamew, path. flying? perfect chaos. man & trauma? kitchen.)
(dream 2. music (toshi) and house w/ electrical stuff, dogs/robots)

(LJ entry, laurie and sia remix? in rain, with boys. eating chocolate granola. music on computer.)
(milking cows. corn on cob. angela from work. something with candy? windchime lights. microphone? buying a chime for infi? also genesis. window-box thing, river. craig ferguson guy and lion. "eats itself." cut hand, cake. interviewing me, funny)

(ganondorf priest, laurie fronting. night. balinor books, houses, eating grapes)

(first: missiles, portal, dev/xor, doc table (woke up?). second: plane sleeve camera, angry boy, tree, crying/prayer)

(trippy/imagni/gen symbols (wolf?), ALIENS. headspace mentions. grandpa's room, voice recorder, chinese girl. HEALING, waterfall. nidoking flowers)

(karissa/navy dad? scranton, batman, xennie.)
26th-Sep-2014 01:54 pm - september 25th, 2014
car show in old elementary school parking lot. one car near edge of lot, all gold paint, looked slightly corroded. when you walked by, it would color-change, but only to yellow-green-blue. then another car, gorgeous futuristic thing. viper something. pink, purple, jelly aqua. me and some other guy were admiring it. he reached out to touch tailfins, accidentally broke one off.

out in backyard. instead of crudpile, little green hills like in aquasion. dappled light all over. showing chris? pomegranate tree near edge of garden, size of footballs. took one to open it, but inside was mostly red spongy soft, almost no seeds. didn't eat it, wasn't juicy or anything.

in elementary school, by fountains. clothes racks there instead, shirts $5. school had "just closed" and they needed to sell them? all ygo style. said they were "abridged" but that seemed to apply only to attitudes. most were marik & ryou, some with yamiy, a few of duke and one with joey. I grabbed a lot of them to try on (most were black). a couple with yamim that were almost fluorescent yellow. a few were dark blue, one or two were red, there was one with yamib that was red. one that was beige, loose sweater w/ ryou and his yami on it, very pretty. wanted to try these on, had a ton. first, realized I had no money, had to go get some. other people started coming into the school, exchange student classes? all little kids, all either black or asian, not speaking english. I somehow walked out a door and ended up on my porch? then walked in front door and asked grandma for money. she gave me a $50 and I said I'd get change. when I walekd back out I ended up back in the school. so wormhole door.
all racks of little-kid clothes, bright colors, "behind" the bathroom area. then kids started looking at me and what I was doing. realized I was wearing a tank top, eveyrone now staring, "how dare you wear a tank top around these children," I was getting very nervous. decided to just go try on the shirts. went and found a fitting room. girl guarding it, saw me and yelled, you can only try on one thing. for some reason I got really dissociated, put the stuff down, and then she apologized "I'm sorry for yelling, you can bring in up to six." I remember going through the clothes and trying to pick which ones, but there were all these weird shirts I didn't pick, like blouses and tops. girl explaining the styles as she hung them up. I remember thinking, why do I have these? then she offered me a cranberry muffin? woke up right then.
23rd-Sep-2014 01:55 pm - september 22nd, 2014
some short guy in a little neon pink van pulled up to driveway, said we had to "save the bats for winter" otherwise they would die.
little grey and black bats, all over my hands. only about the size of pocket change. then grasshoppers and mosquitoes started crawling on my hands too, i couldn't shake them off or I'd hurt the bats. but the bugs started poking holes in my hands? with stingers. my hands burned, turned pink. then the bats started eating the bugs, I was fine afterwards.
then me and the van guy went to the bottom of hill. over by mike's garage, sort of open garage with big horizontal freezer in it? we put bats in there, "freeze them for winter," like cryogenics.
22nd-Sep-2014 02:07 pm - september 21st, 2014
i specifically had my white hair during this dream.
lemon jelly cube thing? first thing I remember. music class with michael, in highschool-esque building. some japanese architecture elements. jacob and melody's house? either no one knew I was there, or they refused to let me in. I remember the house was like a labyrinth.
me going up and down stairwells, looking for bathroom. kid playing pokemon on top of stairs right before I woke up. had lots of jigglypuffs I think. golden dragon? reminded me of a chinese dragon crossed with falcor. apparently hoban had "redone their plumbing system" so we decided to fly through it, to find "the bathroom?" it destroyed all the ceramic in the process. it was kind of hilarious. either way it was super fun to ride it around.
something to do with folders? nicky from school was asking for my name and something else? I tried to write it down (jay iridos, previously known as a jewel lightraye) but the pens kept dying. I kept getting flashbacks to me and laurie wanting to have xangas, with pens dying and her calling it "an excuse." lots of lisa frank folders. ended up in backyard of my house, having to leave again? laughing, about having to look for a bathroom this whole time, buy more folders, etc. couldn't sit down as I had too much to do.
second dream. very dishonored-based. I was in a meeting with 4 nobles of a house. southeast/west? colors were navy, red, green, and olive? sweden was olive, they kept saying "those dirty swedes; they're all assassins, trying to kill us," etc. sitting at this table somewhere, trying to have a diplomatic meeting, then we start getting shot at. someone tried to bodyguard me, jumped in front and got shot, died. I couldn't get out of there. used up all my health potions and mana elixirs on the way to this airship? balloon thing? across the yard, got in last second. I think there was a countdown timer even. felt very much like the airship in final fantasy I think.
before that meeting, I was on the roof. this guy showed up and I started talking to him. he came out of nowhere, blinked in. asked me what my business was there, or whatever, but apparently he was the corinthian from the sandman comics?
don’t know if he worked for the outsider, or just had black magic powers, but he was trying to kill me. never said why.
anyway. the meeting was between four nations, warring together and talking together, one was the "russian fairies," their representative was dressed like a pomegranate? weird because they had white skin, black-hooved feet, fancy hair and fruit-themed dresses. unusual but cool. fairies of "lovely russia," country color was red.
the "dirty swedes" were the assassins, and possibly the corinthian. forget why they were trying to kill us-- didn't want to give up their land, or didn't want diplomacy, something. so they tried to assassinate us.
21st-Sep-2014 01:58 pm - september 20th 2014
thing in my backyard (by crudpile) with trees falling down in a fire, guy called "steg" but real name was "meteor?" some sort of superhero. black-haired guy, supposed to be the player, walking through the trees and looking for the biggest one in the yard? had to throw it for some reason. said he "never noticed until now that trees are alive" and he felt awful, really sad. steg then brought him to this big dragon-tree thing, picks him up by his feet, brings him up into this treehouse thing. group of people there excited, "ah man there you are!" some other huge bulky dude called steg a "bishie." everyone there knew him.
suddenly I was there, also davy jones. but he had all these aqua-ish tattooing over his tentacle-beard? like in atlantis. talking to him. said "we didn't think you would survive;" apparently there was this woman on this ship before it crashed or something, her name was lilith, colored red and black. she was saying "I don't think jewel is going to survive, but her little sister might" or "the jays"/ "jayce"? unsure. but it was weird, we were talking about headspace right before we woke up.
earlier, choppy recall. something where I was in a car driving (with grandparents?) at the bridge from our hill to the nearby town. there was an ad on tv about people making these special school for "straight kids" because "we don't want them mingling with the gays" or something equally dumb. it also had to do with furbies for some reason. I was laughing so hard at this; you're going to put so much of a budget into that, because you're that afraid? this somehow fed into that video game later, not sure why. something to do with dragons.
even earlier (separate dream), me trying to park at e.n. but they had moved? went to new place, but they had moved back, so I had to leave again.
had a "dorm room" in college, but it was an empty theater in cinemark? except half the size. there was this big poster where the screen would be (huge), for coldplay's "viva la vida" album. but it said "viva la vida ruined my childhood" and I crossed that out, drew an arrow pointing to it and wrote "I am my childhood." it was really strange but also hilarious
then something with mom; I was on the porch, watching ratatouille movie? me going around back of house and mom walking in front or something. blurry.
later, something with a church. I was supposed to be an altar server. they called me up front, I tripped, got up really slowly and carefully as I didn't want to rub dirt into the robes.
picked up a kaleidoscope at one point right before I woke up, looking through it. little keychain ones, purple and pink. pink one had rainbow stuff in it but purple didn't. this somehow had to do with "how I saw things in headspace," esp. relating to julie and maybe laurie?
29th-Aug-2014 01:53 pm - august 28th, 2014
Dreamt about this big sand tower thing. I was standing there looking out. TONS of people. weird geometric rock formations?
tide far in the distance. I think it got very psychedelic at one point, I remember the water turned to space and I got really dissociated, everyone around me seemed to be high and that bothered me.

left there, went to area around tower. felt like a zoo, or outdoor similar thing. foresty area with paths through it, up and down hills. there were these lotus-building towers, and purple starlings. I told mom to look but she wouldn’t. Lots of purple trees too. Laurie was fascinated, tried to come out and look at them but couldn't.
Big pink tree at one point, garishly hot pink? Julie tried to front to look at it but her vibe felt weird. Also I think the tree was behind glass, beside a walkway with a handrail. Half inside a building essentially. I wanted to walk over to it but couldn't figure out how, wasn't allowed over there either.

climbing up some stairwell with this black dude. Either the song he was listening to or the shirt he was wearing, but the overlay felt like Spinny. I was thinking "okay he's a nice guy" but I was afraid that there was going to be negative personality fronting.

Classroom, all classmates were from elementary school. Lots of disrespectful jokes going on. Teacher like a younger Mr. Ametrano. Giving us papers, we had to do some sort of survey, but he'd write the questions on the blackboard, then erase them, then write another one. I kept answering the questions wrong? He asked for your name, and I had to redo that 3 or 4 times because I kept getting it wrong. One question was about your favorite movie, I put Inception down, obviously a reference to being in the office the other day (w/Dawn). But I kept crumpling up the papers. I drew a couple J-Monsters all over one of the papers. Everyone looked at me like "you're still doing that?"
At one point I had to go over to his desk and throw something away. For some reason I was holding all these gemstones in my hand, like little chaos emeralds.
When teacher came around to collect them, I apologized because I didn't have the answers. He got really frustrated, which was odd. He said "well if you really screwed up that bad you can do this over and get extra credit to make up for it"? me and mike s. something about religious zealotry, to the point of death. mike said "I just have to go revelation about this" I said "I've been there and it's not worth it." he said I had "70 more miles to live" or something? like the amount of time it took to travel a mile in space.

looking on porch? from classroom? saw giant plushie of electabuzz, but white and camel-gold? fluffy fabric. saw stitch doll. other giant plushie.

then in my room, something with closet. wearing blue shirt, shoulders too broad. went into bathroom, flexed shoulders and the shirt split open. it was hilarious
had to put on a sonic shirt. realized I had like 8 of them.
22nd-Jul-2014 02:34 pm - July 21, 2014
(something with me and chaos zero. very brief but we were together.
cousins visiting, white furred pets? all had same name (three letters, one syllable). ferret, mouse, shrew. something with the attic, cartoons and/or a war?
coconut ice cream, caramel-vanilla with huge chocolate flakes. tasted like haywyre's music. had peanuts in it but I didn’t get sick. decided to share with mom, she took a huge bite but said she didn't like it? kept asking why it was agave syrup and not sugar. I said it was healthier but she just shrugged.

driving to pick up mom at night? cliff road, church. white car. lou talking about peaches. book of plants, "bloody coriander." looking for sandals to wear, also white. I was very thirsty as usual. mom wanted grandma and I to 'take the stable home,' manger scene at end of hill.
in room, 'starlynightmaren' da art. bunnies and balloons? mushroom texture. cgi. found big garbage bag by my desk, thought ventrium was in it, still couldn’t grasp he was dead. on bag in iridescent marker was written. "start ¨ giveaway" or something. there were also two jirachi dolls on my desk, this surprised me.)
10th-Jul-2014 02:31 pm - July 9th, 2014
(indoor farmers market thing? reduced ice cream in freezer. cereal bag things that had meat/ fish/ dog food in them. found some sort of iridescent glass grandfather clock? about the size of my laptop. crystal pendulum was chipped, it was an octogram. also had a lotus on the clock face. only $22, I think? I really wanted to buy it but didn’t for some reason, I think money concerns.
in aisles further back, lots of clothes, then sonic merchandise. end of aisle had these odd 'cereal puff' bags, gluten free, they looked interesting but again I didn’t get any. anyway, looking at sonic posters, they were in 4 different sizes and the smaller ones were mostly fanart.
scranton streets, near delta offices. (field trip kids, sailor moon, radio?)
parnassians singing in city? visiona mainly. she was of the lime green spectrum, not emerald green.
photo from fleamarket? blocked our view.
digi visiting? gave him sketch of valentine, had drawn some comic that tied into visiona's singing to some other female 'maren who I didn't recognize-- black and emerald, with glasses? might've been delphi in drag haha
asking about kenzel, explaining 'puppetstrings' demon dolls to mom or someone? woke up right after)
8th-Jul-2014 02:28 pm - July 7th, 2014
(two dreams, forget the first atm.)
(clothes shopping, sonic shirts, one was brothers. something with big map in the sky?
appointment at 3pm. needed to get there. grandmother wanted to go shopping or something. ended up in woods by diamew with mum, she was putting all these knives in a chopping block in the woods, and talking about children who murdered their families, I didn't want to hear about that. I started asking why they didn't take some sort of preventative action, like educating these kids, but this was half a distraction as I was taking the knives and stabbing my own right calf with them. it was odd-- I was thinking of razor vaguely, but the action was of her twin, slow and deep and deliberate. I did feel a sharp, muscle-deep pain from this, but it was so distant it didn't register as being "in my body." I got at least two knives in, then I realized I needed to get them out to walk so I did. there was no blood on them which surprised me.
mum was complaining about my therapy appointments, said it was $80 per appointment and she didn't approve, I guess my therapist was cheating her or something? anyway then she kept saying something about going to a movie; she wanted to take me to one before or after my appointment. I was tired and weak, I wanted to cry, said my appointment was in 10 minutes and I just wanted to be driven there as I had no car, besides I hadn't eaten yet today and didn't know if fasting for an extra two hours afterwards would be smart. mum looked a little miffed at this, but we headed off to therapy.
oddly it was in the same plaza as my lgbt meeting. I remember feeling some sort of vivid upsetting emotion once we hit the top of the hill, but I can't remember what. anyway I got out of the car and went to the door, but she wasn't there? or the office had changed? mum saw my confusion and walked over, I was now panicking slightly. we went in anyway, small lobby was empty. there was a wall of windows to the left, then a stairwell, and to the right was an elevator set in the wall corner. I ran to the elevator-- it was open, the inside was jade and gold, and I could hear muzak playing-- but decided against it, as I didn't like elevators (and didn’t realize this was a dream! fitting for the atmosphere) and besides, I wanted to check each floor. I told mom this and she kind of rolled her eyes at me, but we went to the stairs. they spiraled up (no corners) and the stairwell was enclosed in glass on the two outer walls. we had almost reached the second floor when a blond woman started walking up the stairs, mom said "is that her," but it wasn't. either way we wondered, had she just arrived? so we went back down. once we exited, though, mum decided she'd had enough and said she was leaving. I was scared, I didn't have a car or a phone or anything, how would I get home afterwards? mum said something about me walking to the nearby kmart (a 20+ minute walk in the dream) and finding grandma, then having her drive me home. I said I didn't even know if she was at that store, but mum waved me off and left, she was done talking (and upset as I wouldn't go shopping/ to the movies with her instead of my appointment).
I didn't go back inside yet, as I was waiting for my therapist to assumedly arrive. so I waited by the road, under this black tarp-like canopy that was set up there, about the size of a school lunch table. there were two kids sitting under the canopy as well (on the ground; there were no chairs or benches), one young mexican boy and one teenage girl I couldn't quite see, but she had black hair. I then saw that the rectangle of ground under the canopy looked like it was covered in black flat foam mat squares, with little hexagons in them, but the boy said they were "solar roadway panels." he and I began telling the girl about them, as she had never heard of them. the boy then told me that some roads locally were starting to use those panels, I smiled as that was exciting. suddenly I got a phone call? I apparently had a cell phone, or someone handed me one, I don't know. but it was my dad, he wanted me and the boys to come over for dinner. I said that was fine, but I wasn't at home so I couldn't ask anyone else. as I said that though, my bros viral and excalibur 'appeared' there under the canopy, and said they were going I think? that was very blurry. either way I now at least had somewhere to go after therapy, or in place of it, if my doc wasn't there.
anyway, I eventually hung up, went back inside the lobby building. it was different now, resembling the curving walls of a dream i had ages ago (with the zanpakuto i think).
(with viral now, karkat/ one piece book? drawn by some artist he admired. saying never give up, find what inspires you and pursue that. he sat down to re-read it by the exit door, but the words all got "sucked out" and turned into ash? the artist laughed, held the ash up in a plastic bag, said he was going to "smoke it." also implied that was "normal."
then huge dog at door, dad sitting to chris' right, I asked him to get the door as he was "intimidating." he let the dog in, suddenly it gained a thick-necked man's head, began bellowing at all of us.
he had a daughter that he kept "locked up" in a large dollhouse? he insisted it was "for her own protection," so she didn't date anyone, or let any boys near her. he shouted at me specifically, I was trying to be amiable and civil, but he called me some sort of slur and said I was the sort of person to watch out for? he didn't trust me because he thought my niceness was manipulative. I shrugged this off, started helping him "tie up" the windows to the dollhouse.
somewhere around here the father revealed she was trans*? I remember getting wide-eyed wonder at this, thought to myself "she could be everything I've ever wanted in a friend," but didn't say a word. I didn't mention that I was trans* either, as I didn't want this man outright forbidding me from interacting with her, if he was prejudiced against me twofold.
said something about waves, or tides? I said "don't diss waves around me," was about to make a joke about perfect chaos, but the father said "why, do you need a dog dish?" it was meant as an insult, but I responded, "you know that could help, that way I'd remember to stay hydrated." the girl giggled, her father obviously didn't expect a comeback.
somewhere around her I began speaking to her, told her that although I came off as exuberant and talkative, I was actually an introvert and I preferred to be quiet. she was very surprised at this.
dad called again? or he was leaving? either way it was time for my bros and I to go to dinner. I invited the girl, but her father wouldn't let her leave his sight, let alone the dollhouse. I said we'd bring food back for her but that wouldn't be fair; maybe we could bring the food here and eat with her here? but her father didn't want us there either. at this point I was just hoping he would leave, so we could let the girl out of the house and let her be free and expressive for once; she was in no danger here.
(woke up around here; got the fleeting impression that her name was joanne? father called her john, her given name-- he didn't respect her new name.)
11th-Jun-2014 03:20 pm - June 10th, 2014
This dream was ridiculously huge so I apologize if this writeout is messy to read; I just wanted to capture as much as I could.

(spyro ii video game guy? like a bandicoot, i remember perked-up curvy black ears. tied to the vibe of "summer cookouts" and such, all about chili dogs and charcoal grills and things. I had to "channel him" like a fronter in order for him to exist as a person?? or for him to even be recognized as such? i first recall him/me doing something with 'setting up windows' in the living room, big pane of glass right in the middle of the floor. had to do this for these two small children and their mother? mom and one kid were black, but the other kid was my bro diamond? but he was like 6 years old.
then i was kneeling on the couch, looking outside the living room windows, snow was everywhere. i was super happy about it. mother walked in, grumpily said "that wasn’t much," nothing to be excited about. but I was shocked, there was like two solid feet of snowfall, it was all piled up under trees.
then kneeling on floor where bro's computer is now, digging through video game boxes. diamond (normal age now?) was sitting on couch, playing something on the tv. in the box i found three discs of spyro ii, confused about that, wondered why we had 3. the bandicoot guy showed up "ghosting" then, i could see him but not my brother, that worried me. i spoke to him momentarily, about the game he was from? either way we both went to the tv, close to the screen. diamond was playing a video game that was allegedly a kirby installment but was set up like 2d zelda, although the graphics were still apparently made of polygons. he was in a cave like from oracle of seasons. facing this big creature that supposed to be king dedede, scary as heck actually. built like nahatomb, looked like a fusion between an abomasnow and the rabbit from monty python. kept making these awful low-pitch digital noises, like a laugh, but just electronic enough to sound completely uncanny. we lost in fighting it or something, then the mother walked in, said i had to be "punished for failing," bodily threw me outside the house, locked us out? night outside, snow everywhere, door frozen solid in like 5 inches of ice. i couldn't get back in. in shock for a bit, "where do we go now," then heard some animal in the woods "coming to attack me?" freaked out. got up and rang the doorbell nonstop until someone let me in. it was mother, she looked angry, but shoved me back inside anyway.
then in kitchen? diamond was still older, I knew the bandicoot guy was no longer relevant to anyone but me, but "he had to say goodbye," was writing a channeled letter to the two kids from before, mostly diamond (his child self), so he'd never forget him. it was in bright blue ink, he even signed it, I forget his name? two words, oddly "western" vibe, last name was "forte" or something? there was an "f," I had to cross it as he forgot. but things kept happening to keep me from writing this letter "for" him as a channel, i had to hide behind the living room couch to even write it undisturbed i think (that's where i fixed the F). at one point the mother stopped me? said it was fake, effectively that I was making all this up or it wasn’t important? no one else understood that this bandicoot guy was real, he cared about these kids, he didn’t just exist in the context of a summer picnic video game. he lived outside of that too and he wanted that to be at least acknowledged, that he was a living thing with emotions. but no one else seemed to care. I remember once the letter was signed and written it felt like the bandicoot was gone, that made me so sad. i wondered, could he get more energy to live if this letter was read, and the fond memory sparked back into their hearts? if they cared, could he come back to life? but I didn’t know if anyone would care but me even then. nevertheless I was anxious and was trying to find the kid(s?) to give this letter to. diamond did get a glimpse of it, he recognized the handwriting and blue ink (apparently that had been his 'trademark color' or something?), got a look of "wait, i remember who that was," crossed with a look of "that's childish idiocy and i want nothing to do with it." conflict between wanting to grow up and "grow out of things," but also wanting to hold onto that childish joy and wonder. i hoped so much that he'd at least read and treasure the letter, instead of rejecting it. like i was fervently wishing for that at this point.
but my recall of that plot thread drops off here.

(then I was in some sort of parking garage/ cave/ underground town? i was in a car. had a map, said it was somewhere between turkey and pakistan? i remember laughing a bit, i couldn't speak the language but maybe i could learn by hearing more of it. either way i was excited, although vaguely tired and a bit nervous as well.
i parked the car near the edge of the "town." it was very middle eastern feeling. there was lots of open empty space, everything made of tan-colored old stone, tall and square buildings, almost no people... it's like the wilkesbarre bridge turned into a city if that makes sense? only way I can describe its vibe. not the first time i've been in this sort of town either (dream-wise, this sort of area is usually located in pittston). this time though, a lot of the 'stone' on the buildings was 'soft?' especially anything circular. when I touched it, it would collapse easily, and this white stuff would leak out like it was full of pudding or sand or something.really odd. i did this once and some white-robed dude on the street looked at me like i was crazy, that was rather funny in retrospect.
anyway the whole place was some sort of historical "ruins," but the place as a whole was still inhabited in modern day, like egypt or rome. you could walk through it and study it, but "as a tourist" you were looked down on, you couldn't properly understand or appreciate the historical or cultural significance? a few people were glaring at me as I walked around, for this reason, but I knew I "was there for educational purposes?" like I was apparently a "top authority" on some of this, but didn't tell anyone. so I was looking and taking notes, trying not to upset anyone. at one point I needed to get out of that area, got back into my car to do so, but i couldn't get the car to turn around because the streets were so compact and there were virtually no curves in this city, just right angles. despite that, the sharp angles made for some very labyrinthine passages between buildings. i eventually found an "exit here" sign on the outer wall, followed that out, into sunlight. outside had same "sparse-sandy-stone" architecture but felt more modern.
strangely, after I got outside with the car, my consciousness went back into the underground, except this time I was IN the buildings. strangely they seemed to be like a hive?? the whole town was ONE building, inside was set up like an airport fused with a "play place" from old mcdonalds? if that makes sense? odd sloping halls, long passages, but set up in a very space-age way, everything stacked on top of each other, floating hallways, etc. again, like a hive. where i had "appeared," it was a window-lined airport hall, and there were lots of people walking up and down it. this hall connected to a few large circular rooms on the right, for business. felt like they "floated" above the ground. everyone there was "someone important," no tourists allowed in here. still I felt people suspected me because i looked disheveled? i did feel out of place. anyway as i wondered, my mind immediately focused on this one girl walking by, looked like a high school student, colorful outfit and skirts and shoulder bag. I knew she was a "princess" or something, either way there was a heavy and slightly anxious significance around her, and i had been brought there to assist her somehow. she was there for a very important purpose but I "wasn't supposed to know why yet."
anyway i followed her up the sloped hall, at the top there was another round room like a meeting room, people were leaving it like a class had ended. a lot of those people were obviously not human, too. i hesitantly went in, not sure if I was allowed as i definitely wasn't "in the class" but oh well. sat down at a round table, only two or three other people there, in university garb. no one asked but they looked curious as to who i was. few other people filed in, two sat down in chairs near the opposite wall (one was a red alien). then some high-up professor woman walked in and sat across from me, started casually talking to everyone who was there, like a personable lecture. at some point she asked me a question (like i was a student), or i spoke up, either way i said something and it surprised her, in a good way. she became intensely interested in me all of a sudden, we began talking like coworkers almost, apparently I had info she was researching avidly but according to her no one else knew this stuff. i was a "pioneer in the field," i think that was exactly said. but we hit it off as friends almost instantly, the other people in the room looked sort of shocked, "dude is this guy a professor and we didn't know," they just listened to us talk. then for some reason, my old elementary school principal walked into doorway? forget what she was saying, she didn’t seem quite human either-- she was heavyset in a way that suggested an exoskeleton (like it wasn't fat, just body structure), i think she had four eyes? she was wearing all desaturated violet and green, that was clear. anyway she was joking about her appearance, "it was new," no context for that but the class laughed along with her on that. no tension. i was confused though and knew i had to leave, time felt strained? scene switched rather abruptly then

segue is unclear. then i suddenly saw this rich dude, broad but suave build, not quite human? (get the impression of a beetle?) at a shiny white business desk, in an office at the very top of some skyscraper (the room was a bubble-shape, unsurprisingly). wraparound windows, overlooked entire city. in the room, everything was clean and neat and white. he was wearing a white suit with gold accents. unsurprisingly, this guy was well-known and also rich for financial reasons, primarily investing money in gold? some guy ran into the room then, on the phone i think, very excited but anxious. asked if the rich dude was willing to put $1 billion into looking into a "gold reserve" in the mountains? suddenly i saw that his "daughter" was standing near the desk-- it was the princess from before! now it was obvious she wasn't quite human either, i think she had antennae, but her eyes were huge and her face shape was just barely humanoid enough to pass. anyway she was incredulous that her father was considering taking that insane offer, said "dad, no it's too big of a risk." but he waved that off, and said yeah, put the billion down immediately. the guy on the phone nodded and ran back out. girl sighed loudly, obvious she was worried about her dad biting off more than he could chew, but he just smiled at her, and said to trust him. he explained that yes, there was a chance it would be nothing but the chance of success was too incredible to pass up. and he was willing to take that chance as no one else would, or could.
turns out, the "reserve" was actually a lost city?? scene switched, whole city was gathered at this road leading into the mountains, that was visible from the guy's office. anyway they were bringing huge pieces of metal out of the mountain-- railroad tracks, entire tanks, cars, parts of houses, etc. all totally intact but covered in moss and dust, everything was that sandy-brown color of the underground city i had been in earlier. anyway the crowds were going nuts over this, there were news crews everywhere. I was standing in some open mall entrance near the street there, about 50 feet behind the crowds. i asked these two punky dudes nearby what this was about? they gave me a weird look, "you mean you don't know?" then said those were "artifacts from "santa clara" (saint claire)," everyone was totally in awe, no one thought it had actually existed. i asked, was that town mythical something? they said yes, it was "a myth" in that no one had been able to prove whether or not it was real. apparently, in this world's timeline, jfk (yes, the president) had turned out to be possessed, or otherwise corrupted? like he was nice and wonderful at first, but one day he suddenly turned straight-up malevolent and started a war. he had "dropped a bomb" on this town of santa clara, and then he had completely disappeared from history, along with that town?? the memory just "cut off" there. anyway the whole thing was "just a story," its place in time was totally unclear; allegedly no one alive knew whether it was true or not, but it was indeed solid as a well-known myth. and here it was, proof that it had actually happened! so all these people were saying it was a "globally significant revelation" or something, a massive step in history. i then got a personal visual, the rich man who had paid for that gold-reserve investigation was so proud, not selfishly, he was glad he had taken the chance and now people would know. he was watching all this happen from his office up high and smiling good-naturedly.
his daughter was proud too, she was down where i was, walking through the mall. BUT!! something suddenly happened where I received a message for her from her father? from a messenger, a panicked bird alien told me I think. "get her and her brother out of here." they were being hunted down for revealing this mythical truth, the father especially wanted the daughter hidden, I had to find her quick and tell her. so I jumped into action, flying-running about until I found her-- her laptop bag was covered in buttons like mine, as soon as i saw that i knew it was her.
i rushed and landed right in front of her, everyone looking at me, what was this? she asked me what was going on. i was about to tell her, but then got this very bad feeling, like an omen. i told her wait one second, then jumped up, flew through the roof (was it open?) and into the sky. it was close to thunderstorming outside? aura felt bad, yellow-gray clouds, dead air. flew up above the cloud cover, and looked about, it was gray overcast as far as the eye could see, dead, lumpy "egg carton" clouds. no wind though, that scared me. but then as i looked out into the cloud distance, I saw some sort of "shadow streak" zip through the air? like an ink slash through the air. it felt horrid. immediately i looked down, landscape now looked monochrome and dull. but I saw one pinpoint of light on the entire landscape, it was the princess.
this had something to do with pitch from rotg?? apparently he truly loved this girl, the princess, and she loved him too. he would protect her from anything, but this "black shadow" would corrupt him to kill her or something? like it was the "bogeyman" part of his hert that he was running from, or that was trying to overtake him?? and she was the only light in the world for him, to keep his heart bright and good. he had huge amounts of power so it wanted to ruin him. either way she had to be protected at all costs because this shadow was looking FOR her now, if it killed or corrupted her that light would go out, no hope for purifying pitch if he WAS corrupted, there would be terrible consequences. i flew back down to her, sure enough pitch was now there, crowds were watching like "wtf is going on." her brother was nearby, i remember he had big glasses? i had no idea what his role was in this, or if he even had any besides being her sibling. he ran over to her and pitch, asked what was going on, what was wrong? i quickly explained the situation to them, especially the thing in the clouds. i said that her father had informed me that the shadow had "seen" her pinpoint of light there and would be looking for her now. so our top priority was getting her out of there, somewhere it couldn't find her, until it went away (i had the strong feeling that no one knew how to stop it yet). they all looked worried, princess looked very scared, but i said i would protect her at all costs, don't worry, i just had to get her out of there and to somewhere safe. pitch wanted to protect her too, that I knew, but the princess was worried, was it safe for them to be near each other in this risk? we didn't know.
however, i had an idea, so somewhere around here I said i would "check" the data for this? if there were any answers. so i turned around, suddenly that allowed me to "spacejump" to my house? like the porch door acted as a wormhole or gate, connecting these two totally different areas. anyway i went into my car (bethany), got in the drivers seat. i noticed that here it was nighttime, but it was starting to lightning outside, tiny bit of rain. that freaked me out, was it following me? or was it that big of a threat? anyway i pushed that worry out of my mind. so now I was trying to go online through the car? like it was a giant computer. the cd area was a screen, and i had to navigate through buttons on the steering wheel. it wasn't cooperating, and space-wise it even felt like some sort of spaceship for a while. the growing storm outside was making me nervous. i then had an intuitive image of princess and pitch anxiously asking if I got any answers yet? like they could 'see' me through a visual screen from where they were, like the gates in headspace-- i think maybe the brother was a techie, he was allowing that to happen. the crowd was pretty amazed. anyway i said not yet, i was frusrtated. i was trying to use this massive high-end search engine thing, like government based, but the steering wheel nav wasn't doing what i told it to, and weirdly I ended up on a website that looked like a fusion of welovefine and themerchdesk? I was suddenly seeing homestuck and frost* shirts. I was confused, why was I here, why couldn't I get this to check the data I needed? then i had the sudden insight that the dark shadow person was actively sabotaging my efforts here. i was worried that now it knew i was trying to stop it. not wanting to waste any more time, i quickly jumped out of the car then. i also had this strong feeling that it "wasn't safe" as a location in the storm. it was starting to rain now, i ran back through the doorgate, to the waiting trio. i said we needed to figure something else out, but first we really needed to move, the storm was starting. they nodded and we immediately booked it down the hall, the brother leading the way, i think he said he knew where there were secret passages out of here? we couldn't gather any more attention than we already were, i think he said that once we got in the "tunnels" he'd stay behind and do crowd control, make sure no one followed us or even knew where we went. i thanked him and i remember turning on this really sunny corner inside the mall, where there was this statue of a person (who?) set up to catch the rays. it hit me that the place was massive, like a museum, but then I woke up.)

No lie, that is one of the coolest dreams I have had in months. I'm so glad I remembered it.
10th-Jun-2014 03:08 pm - June 9th, 2014
(not much sleep (didn't fall asleep until 6am), so not much of a dream.
in store, like aldis, buying food with grandparents. set up weird though, like health food store. lots of space. i bought lettuce and a bag of carrots. there was a frozen case full of coconut ice cream near the front, I was looking at the flavors but didnt really want to buy one. grandparents were checking out, told me to "hurry up," people were getting angry as i was holding up the line. that stress made me anxious and the scene switched
now driving, unknown area but felt like back areas of towns near the highway? cramped, few houses with lawns, mostly sheer hills and curving roads. i was trying to find this "party" house? had something to do with "graduation," i needed to be there but didn't want to be. extremely tired. got there at one point, but had to leave shortly after, something with police, like "everyone leave now." not a bust, more like a serious evacuation, like a gas leak. everyone filed outside, into what looked like hometown now. tons of people just walking the street and chatting, not concerned. i was stuck in the crowd, still half-asleep and slightly sad as i felt trapped and just wanted to ho home and lie down. trying to find my way out of it. i think the police actually pulled me aside though, gave me special instructions on how to get home safely? like they were concerned for my health.
(got home, family fighting down the hall, so the door was closed and the atmosphere was anxious. however, chaos zero was in my room, sitting on the bed and grinning. i was sitting at the end of the bed facing him. he was listening to the ruckus down the hall, then he just laughed, got up and quickly moved over to me, saying something like "let's do this now before we run out of time." i had to laugh too, this was daring. but there was nothing hedonistic or hackish about the intention, there was tangible genuine love and joy there. however we didn't get anywhere after all because the noise level kept getting worse? or someone walked in? either way we were interrupted, had to stop, this was fine though. woke up almost instantly)
6th-Jun-2014 02:55 pm - June 5th, 2014
(chaos zero mentions everywhere, online? merchandising? I remember talking to two young kids about him. also spoke to some nice uniformed company guy about the merch, laughed and said "they already knew about my interest" and would let me know immediately if anything new was released)
then in a town that reminded me of zone 2 in OFF, where japhet is shouting at the people in the town square? but this town was nicer, looked almost like prague actually. oceanside though, to the left. everything was nice clean white in color, with dark blues. very calming. i was up on some balcony dining area? overlooking the square. but there was a traintrack running alongside it, i had to get on this train and leave. i remember saying goodbye to the kids i had been talking to before.
surprisingly there was a musical being performed on the train? like real time. i was apparently an important performer in it, that's why i needed to be there. sitting in an area like on the harry potter train, with a sliding door to the main aisle. at one point while sing-talking with two other people there (both very stereotypically "british," tophats and monocles and canes), the door slid open, a blonde woman was standing there; i "knew" she was the second most important performer in the musical. the song then was her trying to admit that she was a trans*woman, not a crossdresser, as she was pre*op and looked very masculine and so no one was respecting her or taking her seriously. i was able to help her not feel guilty or ashamed about that, said i was trans* too. she visibly relaxed and sang more openly, but then hit another topic snag? embarrassed, said "there's something even weirder" she had to admit. surprisingly it was that she was "in love with ulala," from space channel 5? i laughed with affection at that, said that was totally fine and none of us would judge, besides "i was in love with a video game character too." didnt say who though because the song started and that wasnt important to it. british guys joined too, were actually very supportive of her, that was sweet to watch/hear. i remember at one point there was a bridge in the song, turned into "tribal" singing, reminded me of both "the lion king" and "lilo and stitch"? i think lilo actually ended up on the train then, felt like a subject switch. i was confused and surprised, but i remember admiring the musical style. however that must have been too much thinking because i woke up then!)
5th-Jun-2014 01:48 pm - June 4th, 2014
(whole dream was at night, very odd)
(running through big empty-ish walmart store with my bro viral? it connected to our porch and the garden. we were both kids again. couldn’t see, everything was pitch black. high ceiling, row of tangled aisles near front where each went on for like 400 feet, then entire back of store was stark empty. i was lost in the aisles up front, calling after my brother and trying to find each other by sound. he was way in the back. either way i got there safely and found him, there was a small exit door in the back wall, we went out. it opened up into the back area of the garden, by the road which would otherwise lead to effenburgh. we were so happy to be out, but we "needed to keep running" or we'd be caught?? so we ran towards the main garden, where there was super dense woods behind it. there was a large pool of water where our garden was? like 20 feet around, 2-3 feet deep, clear water. everything in that area was bluish, moonlit, looked like "the last unicorn" scenery. lots of overhanging trees too. pretty.
i have this weird feeling that at some point, the mother called for us and we were "snapped back" location-wise to the porch? she angrily asked where we had been, we excitedly and honestly tried to explain to her, she cut us off and said we were lying, that we were being disrespectful and unruly. bro and i were upset and confused, we were just trying to share our excitement with her.
then massive scene switch. body was now teenaged, like 16 or so, felt "alien" like it wasn't actually me. driving around, still nighttime, on highways. as i drove i was communicating with billy for some reason? like via phones and/or internet. I had my laptop on my lap in the car, wtf, looking through deviantart comments (da had the "dream" setup it usually does, notably the vertically sprawling pages). everything was about perfect chaos and/or emerl, lots of people were asking about chaos though which i labeled as "important" that i reply asap. so I was trying to reply while driving but couldn’t? I dont think i was using the keyboard to type anyway. but in any case i couldnt focus enough on the road. hit an exit, left road sign saying "klonoa," considered taking it but thought "i never played lunatea's veil so i probably wouldn't fit in." also i had no freaking clue where i was and didnt want to get more lost. took the exit, trying to get my bearings. i needed wifi so i went into a nearby mcdonalds, again it was very sparse inside. they said I had to buy food to use the wifi, decided to buy something that my bro would eat and just take it home. woke up then)
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