| Slept for almost 15 hours last night due to a terrible amount of stress, but my mother must have woken me up about 8 different times between 9PM and 5AM, so my dreams were pretty weird and disjointed. I only remember a bit of the last one, but it was unnerving enough to write down.
I was on a bus that was a fusion of the travel/school kinds, and was apparently on some sort of 'mandatory trip.' I didn't recognize anyone who was on the bus with me, but they were supposedly from my "class." For some weird reason, there was a man in a cream/brown robe wearing a studded, faded gold helmet that covered his entire head. I don't know if he had wings, but either way, he was most definitely an angel (as if the helmet wasn't a dead giveaway). People kept calling him "Beth" for some reason, but he said that his name was really "Stephan" or something like that. Regardless, we got off the bus somewhere around there, and we were all in the middle of some very crowded, very dim-looking part of some unknown town. There was a sort of church nearby, and I went in there with my family (who had somehow just appeared). The church was also very dim-looking as well, with the colors all muted. Oddly enough, instead of pews, the seats were set up like a shallow auditorium, but were still brown and wooden. Anyway, the mass started, but the "priest" was wearing nothing but a light blue bathrobe and he had a female assistant that was doing most of the work. She started asking for money instead of holding a mass, and my family immediately got out their wallets/ purses/ whatever. I asked them what was going on and why were were there, but I got no answer. So I changed the topic to the "confessional" I had supposedly went into earlier, although in the dream reality I hadn't gone in one at all. Either way, instead of a confessional booth I had simply gone into the middle of the church, where the strange angel from before was sitting. I suppose the confessions went as they usually do, but whatever I had confessed, it resulted in the angel suddenly slamming my head off the nearest pew as 'punishment.' I stated that I apparently deserved it, and felt bad that I did, but then expressed that I wanted him to do that again (pain addiction?). I got no recognition or response from my family, though, so I went back to watching the strange ceremony. Next thing I knew, I was in a back section of the same church, with my family and a few 'religious' members of the church. It was very dark and small, with nothing but a small wooden table in the middle of it. For some unnerving reason Selph was lying on it, and I was told by the clergy members that he had died and they were preparing a funeral. I said that was impossible and asked if they were lying or just making the whole thing up, but they insisted he was indeed dead. They then began doing some strange thing where everyone present had to 'donate' something to the funeral ceremony or else it 'wouldn't work' or whatever. Everyone else was donating paltry, useless things, but when it came to me I was at a loss as to what I should 'offer,' mostly because I still had no clue what the heck was going on and because heck, they were all saying my muse was dead. I began to suggest various random things to give up, still confused, when a woman member of the clergy present walked up to me with a grave expression and said that none of those things would work-- she didn't explain why, but she said that I had no choice but to give up my own life for this 'ceremony.' I was terribly shaken for a moment, and got that chilling 'fear of death' I only get in dreams, but after a few seconds it faded and I decided that hey, if that's what I had to do then so be it. I then turned around and left, assumedly to do whatever the heck I was planning to 'give up my life.' (I honestly have no idea what I planned to do.) So I started walking through the town outside the church towards an unknown location, when suddenly I noticed that Chaos Zero had shown up and was walking alongside me. What was unsettling, though, was that instead of being upbeat as he usually is in dreams, he was sobbing like his heart would break and begging me to change my mind about what I was apparently going to do. I clearly remember him saying 'I don't want you to die,' but for whatever reason I didn't reply, I just listened with an empty expression on my face. I woke up right then, pretty shaken.
I haven't had a bad dream like this in a while... I hope it doesn't mean anything...
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