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Oneirataxia
Never stop dreaming.
Recent Dreams 
30th-Dec-2015 02:21 pm - fragments from the end of 2015
Genesis-trip
100115

multiple selves? Travel
viral/ diamond/ me
Ireland, south Carolina, etc.
“hallelujah” by Michael bruckner??
Walmart remodel, QUI-GON, park janitor, fanasticks hat, heart zombies
Javier and the crystal gems
+ sayaka, Maitru (HOOK?)
garnet was green? Motherly.
PIANO weapon, holding hands
Vomiting blood? Who were they fighting?


101115

dream one: traveling with Stanford pines?

Dream two:
With Infinitii in bro’s old bed, blankets kept tangling me up so I left.

Easter baskets with lions?? (male and female) All over room. Me and someone (headvoice?) were cutting them open with axes? Very clean. The two in the baskets had chocolate in them (no bleeding? Just entrails. Again very clean, no mess)

Underground church? Lots of hatred + selling, made me very sad

Driving? BLACKED OUT and ended up like 4 hours away. Town I was near was the one with the LAST SHIP CHURCH I was at the other month!!



10??15 (10? 12?)

second dream=
front woods, all red, squirrels (looked normal!)
big black puma in tree, gold eyes? Crept close, kept looking at me, didn’t attack though. Made me horribly frightened. Saw it through basement window

mom feeding housecats. Asked why I wouldn’t let them on the porch. I said because they ran and hid and messed up the place—they were outdoor cats and had to stay there. Mom was still very angry

sweetie? Petting her, bumped head in hand. Wanted me to pet the bridge of her nose. Seemed old/dying? Oddly calm although apparently tired/sad?

Hydro’s tumblr? Identified as female now? Something w/ big lacy violet box. Inside was cowboy hat box? Bro diamond took it




10??15 (18? when reading dune?)

cats, dusty & tinned fruit, other cat
thick orange stuff? from dusty, WHAT. terrifying.
some kind of paranormal investigation? girl helper too?
cat would not appear with lights on
I was pushing the glop around with a hoe

eclairs/figs in gg café? (+edible toys? dogs, teddy) (tied to ^?)

LAURIE= "you don't let anyone else carry you"
holding things/people IN me

dan, erin, ross? fixing tv? or a lightbulb?
bloody celery, erin asked me "are you some kind of morbid jesus"



102715
flying to health food store
key lime pie, swinging on thing?

accidentally killed a guy, buried
devil singing, "I know prostitutes holier than him"

driving.





110415

apartment with no lock
stairs, cube light

"labradoodle" + dalmatian
former had deep bark

ALDI w/grandma, by AMG house (blasting "levels")

superjumps down street
people saw me said "an angel"

E!




111715?

basement, lethe statue in grandpa's work room
he came alive and followed me silently when I found it?
half inside half outside basement setup. opened into backyard, which was a theme park like knobels?
water ride up into hill. some people saw us.
jeremiah & david, david trying to go out on hills, couldn't front properly? too aware that body was not a child



111815?

kid under truck? awful rhino fish monster. earthquake.
nightmare clown ship (dirk & jake), vs rich robots (lollipop baby)?
robots had a "theme song" so viscerally disturbing I wanted to black out, ended up humming along to neutralize fear???
I had powers???
cat video thing with eyes
crystal gems, song (in string shop place?)



121615

painting shirts in driveway
nebisai in green? needed blue
realized he should have been yellow

dogs on porch gnawing toes
balancing things on my head?
news article about guy's brother killed??

"I see a person" scare, electro gun,
house on fire? "holocaust" across street?

in pr/mn store, bought something
in aisle, kids saying I was cool?
VERY low voice! © playing a role in a play/musical or something?



122215

mall? girl hurt, ambulance, "god help me"
left foot slash, blood, limping
decided to fly instead
"float type," fused legs?

UT "determination,"
guys in truck, "cut the fibers."
I was very angry

XENOPHON!!

asgore's house? room with food, happy signs everywhere.
bathroom. stood up to hackers!




122815

fluffy pink hummingbirds
standing behind cherry tree on hill, lots of light, felt magical.
one landed right on my arm, I was speechless with awe, just watched it

1229

asgore fight, fire everywhere
terrifying. he was possessed?
20th-Oct-2015 10:18 pm - October 19th 2015
Genesis-trip
Last night we had an interesting dream.
Most of it was in the evening (autumn sort; gets dark but not “nighttime” dark), in somewhat foggy/rainy weather, all overcast. The mother was trying to forcibly send us to a mental hospital? She was being very mean. I clearly remember her dragging us over this very wet grass, all little hills, with what looked like a labyrinthine hedge maze immediately to our right. I was sobbing and told her to let go, I didn't want to be dragged and I didn't like being touched by that, but I was so distraught that when she wouldn't comply I actually pulled her grip off my arm and, stumbling hard, started to run away as fast as I could. She didn't follow-- I dont know if she was shocked or just didnt care what I did-- but I was still hiccuping with tears and trying to escape. Unfortunately I was very disoriented and weak, and the hilly wet terrain was too difficult to navigate like that, so I ended up falling to my knees and half-crawling. We crawled like this over the wet ground until we reached the nearest building, which was to our left and half-hidden by hedges, but across from it was the mental hospital? We didn't know if we should go near it, but we knew the mother was after us and we needed to get away from there in general so for some reason we called CELEBI, to send us “through time” or something to when the mother left?? But she SHOWED UP. Do you have any idea how IMPORTANT that is, to call someone in a dream—especially a stressful one—and have them ACTUALLY be able to appear? So that's really notable.
Anyhow, she did 'move us through time,' but it must have been timelines instead, because what happened was we got a really funky feeling in our head, and the entire world around us shifted to look differently. The hospital became an entirely different building, and I was going to run in there when I had the strong impression that the mother had "caught up to us" in the "time" we had just left? And our body was still anchored there so she might find us? I don't know, but I had to "go back" and felt my mind kind of "fall back into" that original place, the scenery switching again, and indeed I saw the mother run up from the hedges to the right (which were still there) and start furiously banging on the front doors of the hospital. I don't know if she was answered or not, but I turned around and started to sneak away.
However, I think Cel told me to "go inside" instead? It was starting to storm heavily now, with thunder rumbling all around us, and apparently the building we were leaning against was safe, or at least, a good place to hide for now. The entire side I was at was all flat and brown, with one very unmarked door hidden in it. So I went in.
Surprisingly, inside, it looked like the String Shop! Now, that shop—our childhood home, basically— is now a super nice bakery IRL. This dream was the first time we’ve dreamed of it AS that, after only having been there twice! But it was lovely. It looked slightly different, being set up more like a restaurant, with a bit more floor space, but otherwise it was very similar. It was packed with people ordering dinner, though (mostly tomato-based stuff I recall).
I went up to the pastry cases and Celebi showed up to float alongside me again. We were wondering what to order and she suggested we get exactly three rum truffles (all that was left) and one whipped-cream fudge cake. So we did.
Around this time I think the mother stormed in from outside-- where it was now fully storming, so heavy rain and lightning was visible through the door-- yelling about something? But we were worried that she "found us," so we turned and ran down the hall.
This part gets blurry as I woke up soon, but we ended up looking through what looked like a store CD rack back there, which instead showed Youtube videos? The "layout" of it in my head felt like pixiv though, which was fitting, as most of the work was Japanese. Anyhow, the vids we ended up watching were "transformation sequences" for an OC work of someone, that was incredibly similar to E*Girls (the kids would transform with animal partners). What was cool was that the transformations were split-screen until fusion occurred, which I liked as an idea. The art was gorgeous, as was the music, and I recall tearing up and saying to myself, "this is exactly what I wanted it (E*Girls) to be." I watched three vids-- I recall one was with a rabbit-- and was completely happy to "let this person use this idea instead of me," as they were doing such a beautiful job. Right around there someone came up to me and interrupted me, and I think it was the brother? Because I remember getting brought back into the main area and I think my mom & brothers were having dinner? It was still storming outside, loudly, and the atmosphere felt more like a disaster shelter than a restaurant now, too dark and anxious. Either way they were there, and I think they were demanding I sit down and eat while the mother lectured me or something (she was still livid), but thankfully the restaurant was still busy enough that Celebi and I were able to hurriedly sneak out the front door. The instant I did I told Celebi I needed to "warp space" "like (she) did before"? As I had noticed it wasn't an actual time switch. But I just wanted to get away from there before the mother came outside and got me. Cel attempted something, and I honestly think that's when I woke up.
16th-Aug-2015 10:05 am - August 15th, 2015
Genesis-trip
something with amg and a school bus? had to pick me up for some sort of field trip at noon, we were going to some religious place. I didn't have anything I needed with me though-- no wallet, no water-- so I said hold on a second, and ran to get them. but I wasn’t at home, I was in some building that felt like a street but looked like the inside of an old college? (hard to explain, but I dream about buildings like that a lot) and for some reason when I got back to the bus, it was apparently 1pm and they had left? I was very upset, I couldn’t imagine how the time had gone by so fast.

later, in a store. looking for folders. there were these tiny space-pattern ones that I liked. yugioh folders too, yami on them mostly, some sort of design upgrade? don’t quite remember.
I think I was flying through the store? had an odd "timer" feeling like I had to get a folder quick and then get somewhere else. I also felt vaguely sleepy this whole time.

homestuck thing? like a cartoon/play. saying I loved karkat as a character because he was so expressive about everything? I forget the exact words I said.
whoever voiced karkat was practically a baritone broadway singer, he actually ended up singing at some point before he started ranting, it was somehow still in character, it was great

when sollux appeared I shouted "YEAAAH" and the people around me laughed, I temporarily ended up looking like him (I felt the teeth) but didn't feel like I was actually a gold blood? resonated with deeper richer blues, more violet then equius but not as vivid as gamzee? wondering if I was purple
mental thought that sollux was colorblind?? somehow played into how he viewed the caste system

"ebay videos" a new feature? buyers/sellers could post them for feedback or item descriptions. there was one channel that had a video for a description, for what I don’t know, but it was some woman and her male partner (both in 30s?), in their apartment. but their apartment was this GORGEOUS thing in what had to be nyc or something. it was all sunlight and glass and stairs, they had a HUGE bunch of glass windchimes hanging over the main stairwell? like I'm talking 30 windchimes, they looked almost like hanging crystals but I could tell they were tuned musically. stunning. the woman was filming, she was lounging in a really really thick luxurious white blanket, not on a bed but in one of those "concave" round chairs? a big one. she was all curled up in it I think. looked very comfortable actually. but there was a high ceiling and no real walls? like that top floor was more of a landing, you could stand on it and look down to the bottom floor (houses in my dreams usually don’t have lots of walls). the outer walls lookig outside were all glass, there were all trees lining it but other buildings beyond, you could hear all these birds singing.
the girl had a shapely, thick figure but she was in shape. she was also very tanned, she had notable bikini lines. bronze-honey hair, long, very smooth and fine. looked like a celebrity almost, but felt very earthy and not showy? like she was just naturally pretty. the guy was endearingly different? tall, thin, not gangly but still gave the impression of having bony edges. short hair, kind of messy, cut short so it looked spiky. bright natural red-brown color, eyecatching. vague stubble look. he had square glasses, half rimmed? really accented his face. I forget what outfit he was wearing. but he had a brighter, inquisitive, optimistic vibe to him while the girl felt more relaxed, rounded, comfortable. they complimented each other so well, it was so nice to see them interact. but yeah it was a GORGEOUS video all around and I was trying to figure out how to save it to my computer because I wanted to keep it and watch it.
I remember showing my brother their apartment and he agreed that it was absolutely beautiful. we both wanted to live somewhere like that in the future.

I was woken up too fast by someone talking so that chased away the rest of my dream recall, I'm sorry. at least I remember this much!
20th-Jul-2015 10:13 am - fragments from june/july 2015
Genesis-trip
dream, unknown date=
jesse/james. forehead eye. candles, future bluescreen.
trans bathroom, woman arguing with me over that.
driving, cliff. tentomon sticker. death message with brother in water.

063015
clockwork heartbeats.
birds, alligator beak thing
pikachu tamagotchi, food, pearl
ace equius and gamzee
talking to void ocean thing? flooding earth, i had to stop it
told it "go home," said it would have a planet all for itself?
guy that looked like tox? futurama
earthworms going into space.
bedroom, tv, bro? printing knux art
easter baskets, chocolate eggs, mom?

070115
walking through hometown? fancy houses. had camera. dusk?
homeless church? pink? women, helped w/ something?
movie w/ vampires? outside seats
music all in the key of f. velociraptor, headvoices


071915
snow. hoopa person. hiding in closets? falling, catch card, wish
13th-Jul-2015 12:50 pm - July 12th, 2015
Genesis-trip
in hometown, with mother? and other kids? driving. looking for a 'halloween party.'
stopped in house near light, mother said 'it was downstairs,' but then went down to a cellar. I told her there was a difference between 'downstairs' and 'the basement,' she didn’t understand. basement was through a trap door? dark, felt like there was evil or spirits down there. found stairs to downstairs floor, went there. like church basement, empty except for a table to the right and a kid hiding on the floor next to it. it was steven universe. I went over to him, I think I told him 'the danger is gone' or 'you're safe now' or something? he looked up, saw someone over my shoulder (I assumed it was my mom), said "garnet?" sure enough it was, I got the impression she had been disguised? then he looked at me with the same relieved recognition and said, "jay?" I smiled and said yeah, it's us, you're safe. I think he asked where pearl was? said she wasn't here right now, she was elsewhere and also safe. I clearly remember saying something like
hiding under table then. there was a radio on it. I think mother was there again? wondering "where was everybody for the party." muttered that 'after all this trouble, a 'celebrity had better show up,' suddenly door opened, two people walked in to music now playing, one of those people was david bowie, dressed in a fancy flowy red outfit. I laughed and said 'now the party's started!' david bowie fistbumped me under the table.
playing with radio at one point? all these cds. couldn’t figure out what was festive. gave up, gave it to mom, she figured it out.
3d printer in back of room, as people were leaving? $35, said it was for 'making minions' but he could 'also make your oc if you wanted.' needed advance payment for a reservation, limited slots? I ran over and said I wasn't missing out on that opportunity. there was one person ahead of me so I was wondering who to print. decided on vezerai, but 'if we could only pick humanoids' I'd probably pick laurie. I was debating this as I really wanted a jewel monster printed though.
back table, room shifted into living room, family there. had a photo of family cats? like six of them at once. banshee and dusty there, family said "those are the only two left?" four girl cats, two guys. diamond was holding this one stupendously fluffy gray one, said its name had been "trash can?" looked almost like a stuffed animal or alien. had a very precise outline, fancy black ears, sparkles? not sure what happened to it.
last, by mom's desk, guy that looked like a plush genie styled after a japanese oni? literally black skin I remember. asking him about it, was he a plush, he looked handmade, etc. said he would rather not talk about it. "better if you didn't know" who made him? I remember at the end of the conversation everyone else left, room turned back into party room I think, puddle on floor? saw part of his reflection in it from an angle, he was reflecting back as lumiere from beauty & the beast? gasped, realized he had been "turned into a plush" by a dark spell, and the person responsible was the "witch who did that to the castle."
I woke up almost immediately after this.
13th-Jul-2015 07:45 am - July 12th, 2015
Genesis-trip
in hometown, with mother? and other kids? driving. looking for a 'halloween party.'
stopped in house near light, mother said 'it was downstairs,' but then went down to a cellar. I told her there was a difference between 'downstairs' and 'the basement,' she didn’t understand. basement was through a trap door? dark, felt like there was evil or spirits down there. found stairs to downstairs floor, went there. like church basement, empty except for a table to the right and a kid hiding on the floor next to it. it was steven universe. I went over to him, I think I told him 'the danger is gone' or 'you're safe now' or something? he looked up, saw someone over my shoulder (I assumed it was my mom), said "garnet?" sure enough it was, I got the impression she had been disguised? then he looked at me with the same relieved recognition and said, "jay?" I smiled and said yeah, it's us, you're safe. I think he asked where pearl was? said she wasn't here right now, she was elsewhere and also safe. I clearly remember saying something like
hiding under table then. there was a radio on it. I think mother was there again? wondering "where was everybody for the party." muttered that 'after all this trouble, a 'celebrity had better show up,' suddenly door opened, two people walked in to music now playing, one of those people was david bowie, dressed in a fancy flowy red outfit. I laughed and said 'now the party's started!' david bowie fistbumped me under the table.
playing with radio at one point? all these cds. couldn’t figure out what was festive. gave up, gave it to mom, she figured it out.
3d printer in back of room, as people were leaving? $35, said it was for 'making minions' but he could 'also make your oc if you wanted.' needed advance payment for a reservation, limited slots? I ran over and said I wasn't missing out on that opportunity. there was one person ahead of me so I was wondering who to print. decided on vezerai, but 'if we could only pick humanoids' I'd probably pick laurie. I was debating this as I really wanted a jewel monster printed though.
back table, room shifted into living room, family there. had a photo of family cats? like six of them at once. banshee and dusty there, family said "those are the only two left?" four girl cats, two guys. diamond was holding this one stupendously fluffy gray one, said its name had been "trash can?" looked almost like a stuffed animal or alien. had a very precise outline, fancy black ears, sparkles? not sure what happened to it.
last, by mom's desk, guy that looked like a plush genie styled after a japanese oni? literally black skin I remember. asking him about it, was he a plush, he looked handmade, etc. said he would rather not talk about it. "better if you didn't know" who made him? I remember at the end of the conversation everyone else left, room turned back into party room I think, puddle on floor? saw part of his reflection in it from an angle, he was reflecting back as lumiere from beauty & the beast? gasped, realized he had been "turned into a plush" by a dark spell, and the person responsible was the "witch who did that to the castle."
I woke up almost immediately after this.
30th-Jun-2015 01:52 pm - June 29th, 2015
Genesis-trip

with bro. running through houses, over roofs, like dishonored. kept trying to get higher and higher up.
not sure if i could fly or not, but i had incredible jumping abilities. trying to stay hidden, but at some point a few older teens saw us way below (like 10+ floors) and were like "whoa!!" smiled at that but also nervous; we were running from someone??
hit a 'dead end' at one point; big wall in front of us, but no way to get up it onto its roof-- only way up that way was through a barred window? in brick wall. couldn't break the wall or window through force. bro asked me to use my powers??? something to do with white headspace energy. i put my hands on the wall, had a simple wordless 'thought' about the structure of it? intuitive, almost childlike. almost instantly there was a tiny sort of shifting noise, i looked up shocked, the wall with the window had 'broke' in a perfect square, slid effortlessly out of the rest of the wall, fell to ground. bro and i laughed at how absurd this was, but then heard a voice shout. panicked, we quickly moved out the window and started climbing up the wall? there were little metal "loops" up the outside wall and windows, we were grabbing those and climbing up as fast as we could. went up about 5 floors? then hit the uppermost window, i said we had to go in. looked in though, someone was inside? not human. some sort of princess? orangey-pink, looked like some sort of fairytale horse-dragon, but "cartoony cute" like something from a kirby game. she opened the window for us, it just swung open from the top like a cat door. we went in, i think we were there to save her??
suddenly some big guy runs in from opposite direction, reminded me of lord hater from w.o.h. from some reason.
recall gets weird around here. i know i ended up doing something with coloring a picture of the princess? but they were actually supposed to be opal from dream world?? i remember being confused, her body shape looked backwards, she was wearing boots. lots of violet in her design now, not just pink. yellow accents. the 'bad guy' who was chasing me was demanding i get the colors "absolutely correct," i had to keep assuring him it was. when i finished the picture this appeared to appease him and he left??
i also had to color a picture of sage. i clearly remember she was wearing two scarves? one was supposed to have some sort of religious merit. mother said she liked the scarves; no idea where she came from though, maybe i was at our house by this point


picking blueberries off lilac bush in front yard. heard cars approaching, ran inside to hide on porch, "couldnt be seen." people pulled up in two cars (one black, one burgundy), immediately turned around and zoomed off? "heard" them talking in my head, like picking up a radio signal. they were aliens?? talking about looking for some sort of information? one laughed good-naturedly, said something like "you could learn more [about the universe?] from this yard than you could from this whole planet."
me wondering about significance of our home/surroundings in light of that statement.

28th-Jun-2015 01:27 pm - June 27th, 2015
Genesis-trip
DEATH. felt like big motif.

big green spirit, summoned creature. like a genie? in forest, became "GREEN guardian," ROSEWINDOW??
color people chosen from other worlds for role? take over when previous color person dies?
previous green NOT dead?? looked like fred's dad from big hero 6. at fancy dinner party, in suit. returning from some sort of many-year war in another world? assumed dead but not. when returned, willingly gave up his green role for the green spirit, who loves it, and the spirit would have NO life other than this? basically if he stopped holding this holy role, he would DIE? tied to original summoning, "had no other purpose," this gave him a greater purpose. the man had one just by being a man

CONVENT. books? kids? reading room, fake garnets? belt. kids asking about that, felt very accusatory. something to do with genuinity of self, natural vs artificial gems? saying people w/ artificial gems were false, corrupt, etc? liars, to be expelled. explaining to them that lab-made gems could be flawless, "pure" even if artificially made, they were intrigued by this. parallel to summoned spirit?

SHIP. cruise ship, very fast. going down these HUGE twisting paths like a waterslide in a theme park, water rushing all around. i didn't want to go? family involved with this?
convent felt like maybe it was ON the ship??? internal rooms with no windows, all off of big long hallway.

store, books, birthday cards. telling a dad and daughter where the cards were. felt very smiley-dissociated (like jennifer), made me very unseasy. far right wall was all pink-tinted cards/books (unsure?), all about girls in media, talked about them like historical figures? remember seeing rouge the bat, someone like lara croft, etc.
"red mirror" book, talked about a "man who could only feel positive emotions," but he was a MURDERER? did evil things but only ever felt happy, playful, even affectionate. could not comprehend pain, sadness, malice. no idea WHY he was killing people but he was, and felt no regret, didnt even understand it was wrong?? immediately thought of white corruption in headspace, esp. tied to hosts??
23rd-Jun-2015 01:26 pm - June 22nd, 2015
Genesis-trip
in basement. massive as usual. pathways and huge rooms off to where furnace is irl. shelves full of painted ceramic statues. near center was a big ceramic oven, lots of greenware, picnic table where grandfather ate lunch? half-eaten sandwiches left on it.
ceramics on shelves were mostly religious, lots of st michael vs devil and jesus at the mount of olives. also lots of alchemic dragon statues.
whole place felt "evil." the deeper in i went, the worse it got. worst room had shelf upon shelf of lit, glittery thin candles. still had further to go but i couldnt bear it. vision got funny, chest heavy, 'felt' something suffocating all around me. gravity/space warp, could barely walk. felt like something was trying to trap/hurt me. i ran out as fast as i could.
opened up into a sort of back-porch thing? like the cousins have, roof over it but still outside. there was a furry convention going on? virtually everyone was 30, 40, etc. adults. almost all of them dressed as snakes, lizards, or mermaids. felt extremely dramatized, fakey, didnt feel safe. people started pulling me aside, asking what furry i was? overlay got weird, i wasnt a furry, but said i was a bat, like our child-self had been. i think a few people laughed this off, not mockingly but more like "oh thats cute, now where were we." disturbingly everyone then started asking me about sex, specifically "fornication." this made me horribly uncomfortable and i excused myself and tried to run out. people still talking about kinks and stuff. me wondering how the heck they all got near our house at all.

driving w/ dad and brothers through some sort of old town? buildings tall and tightly packed (like nyc), but all fancy old victorian looking. roads very tight, two lanes barely fit between sides of road. traffic was bumper to bumper, but everyone speeding when they could move. furthermore it was pouring rain. many close calls with accidents. big orange truck barreling down road? scared we could avoid it. pulled quickly into a parking lot nearby, looked like mt carmel church lot. we slid sideways on the road (hydroplaned?), hit a white car sideways. i was practically sobbing from nerves/frustration, worrying about insurance, but dad said "not to worry about it" and told me to drive off?

ended up in some sort of huge, multi-floor arcade? went half underground, whole place built like a spiral of sorts, so the floors just phased into each other as you walked. very sparse though, large rooms, games mostly only around walls. felt like cinemark arcade. i thought about playing a game but they didnt look interesting so i didnt. i was just walking through. place was mostly empty, barely anyone there. guards standing in halls?
3rd-Jun-2015 01:13 pm - June 2nd, 2015
Genesis-trip
hussie sitting at my desk, in room. looked like he does in mspa.
saying my "childlike creativity" was important and inspiring, "don't lose that?" jane/jake mention, modeled after those people?
"key to the serene forest" or something?
feathers + dnd game? mom furious.
ipod music, wisteria cherry trees in backyard. lovely.
stores at bottom of back hill? no wolves. felt strange, alien. looked like by cinemark. dad driving.
HOOPA again??
dreams lately have felt tired and displaced and sad.
30th-May-2015 01:12 pm - May 29th, 2015
Genesis-trip
broadway, wizard of oz. singing with the tin man, in street, day before debut. got yelled at?

driving mom and her bf somewhere? dream town, unsure where. been there before. steep hills, tons of buildings.
scared? upset. bf was very mad at me.

hoopa movie!! CUTEST VOICE.
said he "just wanted unconditional love?" something with car keys, tied to that, an example.
battle, suicune vs. atomic deer thing?
ALSO tied to steven universe?
bit with that, on cliff, talking to giant rose quartz
"diamond" gem kept falling off ledge, respawning? heavy chunky armor. like justice guy from cucumber quest.
gem like grenda too? forget color.
rose quartz snubbed them?

something in the backyard.

in room. grandmother told me go tell blase to go to sleep.
had me stick all these cheese slices on his door, she wrote "whore" on them
this felt wrong and I stopped doing it.
went in, told him to sleep, we started talking about jewel monsters? redesigning old ones.
19th-Mar-2015 12:16 pm - fragments from mar/feb 2015
Genesis-trip
0204= infi in truck? "if it’s an angel of mercy I want nothing to do with it." flying?

0205= white magic, piano/violin, car (camper), hill w/ family. horse in void? excalibur

"friday night" 6th = bunyip plush, broccoli drain, driving up wooded hill?

saturday 7th?
lynne/wreckage, subway (me opening wall safe?), bathroom
nosebleed? viral

sunday 8= nidoking teeth needle, hair people

monday 9= neighbor 911

tuesday 10= mike across street, cancer

wednesday 11= car crash/ drowning, helicopter on house, digimon bath?
second dream=
ryou, ilo, (triangle head), angel guy?
"all right, THAT… is Thanksgiving. Fourteen people and a turkey."
vs guy with knife.
schoolmates? vickie college. dresses, red uniforms

thursday 12th= string shop, daschund, bus dvd (miguel/tulio)

sunday 15th= JT blue cat, writing tunes. aaa/kelly play, me on top of racks in store

monday feb 16?= space sheep villain? sailor saturn. digi mention.
g2 creators vs crazy purple g1? me in forest, crystal gem? staff from chest

wednesday 18th= school earthquake, grandpa died. rotating freezer, E

thursday 19th= ireland churches, kid in singapore/ disney recolor clip movie. car crash
27th-Jan-2015 11:41 am - January 26th, 2015
Genesis-trip
I slept very spottily last night, so my dream recall is iffy.

In the earliest one I remember, I was walking down the hill near our house, feeling very sick and tired and stumbling about disorientedly. There were people driving by giving me angry looks and honking horns at me, but I just wanted to get home. Apparently I was "staying with" my bro and his gf in a house down that road, as I "had nowhere else to go?" However they were not home when I walked in, and I got the strong impression that they typically weren't-- they worked all day and only came home when I was asleep, leaving before I woke up. So, to communicate, his gf would leave messages for me written in lipgloss all over the shower stall or mirror. I saw one now when I walked in there, but it said that she wanted me to watch a certain TV series so she could talk to me about it. However it wasn't watchable online, and to buy it it would be too expensive. So she wanted me to do more chores for her, which she would pay me $4 apiece for, and then I could "buy the episodes from her" to watch? Either way it got me very upset, I had no interest in the show, or the extra work for the record, with how tired I was. I closed the door and wondered what in the world was going on with my life.
I remember running down the hall, which opened onto a landing that wrapped around a stairwell going down. On the other side there was a sort of "dividing wall," apparently leading into another half of the house that was being rented by another family? I could see a man sitting on a couch watching TV there, who turned and looked at me in shock as I burst onto the landing. I saw him and quickly turned around and ran back. I don't know why I was in such a hurry, but it had to do with my feeling ill somehow.

The second dream was chopped-up because I kept waking up in 30-minute increments, and there was a lot of noise at the time.
I remember lying in bed and feeling horrifically sick, and realizing there was a hack creeping into the room. I got extremely scared because I was getting progressively more severe pain as a result, and felt too ill to get up and run, plus there were people in the house that I didn't feel safe around? Either way I felt helpless and frightened. However, as soon as I realized I was being hack-threatened, my "visuals" in-dream shifted, so I could see ghosting realms? Like overlays of people not physically there, people in headspace. Chaos Zero was sitting with me on the bed, looking extremely concerned, so I told him what was happening. He got scared-angry and tried to chase off the hack, but I told him I was already in such excruciating pain that I couldn't fight it off, and I had no strength to run. I would have no choice but to endure it. Chaos made extremely sure I wasn't dissociating and letting it hurt me even more, but all I remember is that when the hack finally hit I thought I was dying, but Chaos just wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly without a word. I remember someone tried to walk into the room in-dream around here, which was highly disorienting because the pain had me completely depersonalized and that attempt nearly yanked me back into the body-pain headfirst. So now I was shaking and very scared but Chaos wasn't saying anything, just holding me safe. I remember being momentarily confused as to why, then I realized he was intentionally being a neutral benevolent presence; he wasn't trying to redefine or re-harness the hack energy, therefore keeping himself completely separate from it. I was flooded with gratitude for that.

The last thing I remember, from a third dream, is being in the kitchen, but it was dark and looked like the kitchen from Wisconsin. My mother was there, talking to my bro Diamond, about my bro Viral. It had something to do with music, and her needing to give him information but no one could contact him? Again, I was highly disoriented and didn't feel well so it didn't register. But she left, and I think there was something with cereal boxes, before the scene shifted a little. Diamond was now sitting at the piano in the living room, and he motioned for me to sit down too, to "rehearse." So I sat to his left, and he started playing some rock tune, to which I started singing exactly like Axel Rose. It was euphoric really, to do that scratchy falsetto, so we did that for a while. Then I started plunking around on the lower keys and realized they sounded like a bass guitar line, so I started freestyling there. My bro approved and started similarly freestyling with his own falsetto vocals as an accompaniment. Either way it was awesome and I seriously enjoyed it. When we were done though, he stopped and gave me a disgusted but pitying look, shaking his head. I paused, then embarassedly asked if I smelled sweaty? He said yeah, sorry. I apologized profusely, explaining that I had been bedridden for days and couldn't help it. He said he knew, that was okay, he just didn't like it. So I got up and walked down to the bathroom to wash up, and I think that's when I woke up.

I think the most important thing to note, though, is that when I woke up for good I realized that the hack had not affected the body. That is extremely rare and profoundly relieving. So I'm deeply grateful for that, thank you CZ.
20th-Jan-2015 09:22 am - january 19th, 2015
Genesis-trip
huge regal book on desk, supposedly neil gaiman's "the sandman" series in novel form? like four inches thick, heavy hardcover. cover was an iridescent indigo-violet color. first 4th of book or so was normal slightly-yellowed paper (looked vintage, not "old") but the words changed from black ink to the same color ink as the cover as it went on. then suddenly there were about 50 blank pages, all colored black with an indigo-glitter sheen. then the words started up again but they were all iridescent-indigo too, and the black pages now had gold glitter flecks through it as well as iridescence. honestly it was gorgeous.
in house hallway, mike was there, huge box full of energy bars and cereal and chocolate. bizarre flavors, i remember there were "insect" chocolates, i wanted to try one. also "gingerbread lobster" cereal and "mint chocolate chip" cereal that mike insisted was actually "vanilla buttercream" or soemthing.
then ended up in health food store? on shelf there were two boxes of power-os cereal but they were blueberry and banana flavored, i wondered of those were new. store was mostly empty in any case.

near end of dream, standing in bathroom, but the window was directly across from our neighbor's house. outside the window i saw a bunch of deer moving about, realized they were being stalked by this huge mountain lion (with prehistoric fangs). our neighbor came out and followed it with a rifle, almost looney-tunes like; he was tiptoeing about behind it and it didn't notice he was there. then as it was about to jump on a deer, he shot it. it staggered back once, turned like it was going to leap on him next, but then he shot it dead. all the deer got away, off into the woods.
then a huge black mangy wolf appeared from somewhere in the woods off to the far right. reminded me of the wolf from "endzone" on dA, but organic. terrifying in any case. it saw me through the window, immediately started trying to attack me. horribly vicious. the neighbor ran over, looked at the window but apparently couldn't see me through it? didnt know what the wolf was doing. anyway he then held a handgun gun to its jaw, threatening it and holding it still, but it wouldn’t stop and he wouldn’t shoot it. i remember wondering in panic at this strange stalemate, what was the expected result of all this? i was scared the wolf would kill me. fortunately i woke up right around then.
15th-Jan-2015 03:14 pm - january 14th, 2015
Genesis-trip
me and chris, kids. 'last supper' in woods behind crudpile? had to ride a deer to get there. got on a doe, went down front hill siedways, snowy and icy. I had to 'merge' with it mentally and help it balance to walk. got to main road, once near pipeline had to stop and get on a stag to go through the woods? but I think bro said we "wouldn't be able to," couldn't tame a stag, or would be too hard to ride? woke up soon after that, didn’t get to the woods
14th-Jan-2015 03:13 pm - january 13th, 2015
Genesis-trip
spy-play thing? like dishonored kind of, tunnels and water drainage. license plates?
giant tiger in driveway, me like a matador. knocked me down, but not afraid. sent 'love' to it? it purred and went to sleep. onlookers in total shock, "no one's ever done that before," didn’t think it was possible
29th-Dec-2014 03:12 pm - december 28th, 2014
Genesis-trip
driving home from mu without headlights, laurie and lynne trying to guide me. brake wasn’t working well. not sitting entierly in drivers seat, felt tired?
elevator full of sad japanese girls. felt like old high school (the infamous stairwell areas). also thought maybe my presence there was intrusive. felt like they were leaving a night class. I think I was dressed shabbily.
unicorn book? stapled together from readers digest pages, on "indoor fleamarket" bookshelf. something about a villian with a heart of fire, burned through the paegs. unicorn and 'princess' were still kind and helpful to him? moved the villain, to the point where he "flew over the ocean" or something, put his heart into the water to douse the flame? huge clouds of steam.
23rd-Dec-2014 03:12 pm - december 22nd, 2014
Genesis-trip
male self for entire dream!
singing mcr! "black parade" I think, but opening was different. belting it out, guy that looked like thomas sanders gave me an enthusiastic thumbs-up of approval.
con artist by church? I tried to chase him away. swinging car around, hit some small blond vitiligo kid, named "diddy" (misheard at first). I remember the kid was like a prophet or something, I was tearing up, knelt in front of him and swore my loyalty to him, I'd protect him no matter what. I think I began singing? either way there were more songs. apples and blueberries, in cooler?
gemstone musical things? like a pitch pipe in shape, but they slid up and down in the slots.
pool fill of soup? picking out onions from it. place looked like an expo. I think the soup was 'not allowed' or something, illegal
driving/shopping? at night. pea soup/ more apples in fridge, place looked like kaminsky's shop.
cheese and plane tickets?
20th-Dec-2014 03:11 pm - december 19th, 2014
Genesis-trip
"frank/floyd" guy, driving large crane where grandpa's trucks are, into a huge house where our house is. suicide move, collapsed on him, but this was some huge heroic effort?
big fancy house, with all the rooms and passages, like I usually dream about. some woman with long tan hair showing me around, I think she had babies in one of the rooms?
13th-Dec-2014 03:10 pm - december 12th, 2014
Genesis-trip
alien pirate crew. "yemen" guy, golden skin. felt very dune-ish, looked like 6 from tryinghuman. dishonored powers? tf2 tranq dart room. scout shot himself by accident (timespace paradox?).
davy jones again! barbossa ship? he was a full-on captain, manning that entire alien crew, with some sort of business that was different from mine in the dream but entwined nevertheless. But as he was leading me around his ship, he actually SAW a dream hack threat there?? And he called for Yemen to stop it. So Yemen summoned all these golden energy needles from thin air, somehow they tore the fabric of the dream itself?? It was such a surreal feeling, and yet I wasn't disoriented as it happened-- I was aware of the feeling of reality being split and separated and peeled apart like plastic wrappings. And then I WOKE UP. There wasn't even a shift in consciousness; one moment I was in the dream, then I was awake in bed, as if I had just moved bodies is all. I jumped out of bed and saw it was 4AM again (every single night I wake up at 4 lately), said a sincere quiet thank-you, then went back to sleep.

second dream. really awesome vibe but felt somewhat tired. explorative!
bathroom, japanese style. no shoes. kid in my stall. tons of people came in then.
lots of kids? a play? christmasy. crowds. looking for blase?
something with apple cider.
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